Growing Apart: Friends Edition

Social media is one of the biggest tools we have today. It has given us the ability to have quick updates on our friends and family, news before it gets fact checked, and a chance to connect with strangers around the world. But, as we know, it can come at a price for many. The clout chasing is at an all time high, and so many people are pretending to live a life they really don’t have, just to keep up. In addition, it comes tools, and stats. How many likes, and views, you get as well as how many followers you have. Personally, my social timelines include accounts from the news and weather, to my favorite celebrity gossip pages. I believe in being balanced, but even I find myself needing to unplug, and get away from the noise.

With the current Instagram trend of following to unfollow, I decided to download an app from my Appstore that lets me know who unfollowed me. I find it to be great tool for those spam pages, and to quickly unfollow those who want to have followers, but not engage with anyone else’s content. Anyway, it’s great.

I usually don’t care if I get unfollowed, but there was one in particular that I noticed last week that offended me. This was someone that I don’t speak to regularly, but we used to work together, and were close at one point in time.

I decided to check Facebook, and saw that I had been unfriended there too. I thought long, and hard to myself, debating on whether or not I should call or text. I even texted another person we used to work with, to ask her opinion. Before she got a chance to respond I decided not to reach out to the person that blocked me. I decided not to for a couple reasons.

  1. I thought it would sound stupid. To sit there and text someone, “Why did you unfollow me?” when we haven’t spoken in months
  2. She doesn’t owe me an explanation for anything
  3. It’s okay if she does not want me to be a part of her life anymore, or if she does not want to be a part of mine.

You see, I don’t know if I offended her, or what, and that bothered me. However, the fact that she didn’t reach out, or try to resolve whatever problem there may have been told me what I needed to know.

  1. It may not have been that important to her
  2. It may have been something petty
  3. We hadn’t spoken in so long, that we just grew apart.

I have had a lot of changes in my life within the past year, so I must acknowledge that other people have gone through changes as well.

I hear it all the time, and the older I get the truer it becomes. “Some people are only in your life for a season”. AND THAT’S OKAY!!!! Seasonal people aren’t BAD people. I feel like society pushes this narrative that the people that are in your life for the longest period of time, are the best, and this isn’t always true. You may have had a friend you were close with, and as life goes on, you move apart and do what makes you happy, you may find that you no longer have the same interests.

Some may make you feel bad for distancing yourself, but its completely natural to want to be around like-minded people. As your goals change, so should your surroundings. You should not feel bad for wanting that.

Looking at the situation in that way, I felt a lot better. I know that I have outgrown people, but didn’t think about anyone outgrowing me.

Crazy right?!

Anyway, I am thankful for growth, and the ability to look at situations from all sides.

Have you had situations where you and an old friend grew apart? How did you handle it?

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